Blogtember: Nightmarish Realities


I have quite the list of scary moments, and all of them seem fairly even. I love horror movies and my favorite pass time involves hiding behind things and scaring the crap out of my kids. (I know, terrible me. Ohhhhh, I’m a bad mom. Blah, blah, blah. It’s hilarious; you should pull the stick out and try it sometime.)
I’m only mentioning this as a bit of reference, now I’ve walked down the dark alleys, empty parking lots and all the things normal people try to avoid. With that in mind, I feel like my scariest moment would have to be a moment that was mostly emotionally scarring.

I would say I was 13 or 14 at the time. I was spending the night with a very close friend; we were like sister, truly inseparable…at the time. If I wasn’t at her house, then she was at mine. It had become as if we had two set of parents and both our families had just “adopted” another kid.

Its funny how completely normal nights can quickly turn into an episode of Twilight, and no, I’m not talking sparkling vampires here. It was a normal weekend night of blasting music and sitting around the bonfire. It was all fun and games. Laughing, playing music, dancing and the occasional drink were all part of the “norm”.

On this particular night, her mom was at a neighbors studying, her dad had a friend over, a sheriff…or officer of some sort. At least that’s what I remember him telling me, I can’t be sure if he was or not.

All I know is that if he was one, he was a terrible one. He sat by the fire laughing and watching as her dad “tickled” me, slipping his hands up and under my shirt as if it were nothing. This is when things took that Twilight turn. It was only the beginning; I acted as if it was nothing. An accident, that’s all. I went inside, hoping my friend would follow. After a while I gave in and went back out.

Things were normal, I brushed it all off. I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know that then. One of her little sisters came out hardly dressed, it was cold at the time. I quickly swept her up and into the house to help her find some warm clothes. After all, she was another one of my sisters.

Before I knew it, he was walking in the door and sending his little girl along. He asked if I would grab something in his room and of course I agreed. I shouldn’t have. He was in the room, stranding behind me before I knew it; the door was shut and my heart raced just as fast as my mind. Everything felt as if it were in slow motion, I felt frozen in my spot and it was as if the room was spinning 100mph around me.

Before I knew it, he was kissing me and pushing me onto the bed. Nothing would come out, people were around but nothing would come out. My head felt fuzzy, as if I’m trapped in a seriously creepy nightmare.

Later, I hid away in her room. I wanted to go home and telling her this only made her question why. I broke down, she was my best friend, my sister…how could I not? She only cried and apologized a lot. I did leave that night, but not before being approach by him…carrying a gun with threats to go along with it.

I faced it all bravely but inside I screamed. The thing is, when we go to bed at night and our dreams turn to nightmares, we get to wake up and it’s okay. But when the nightmare is really reality, there is no alarm clock, no sudden wake up. You can’t wash it off in the shower, or drink a warm glass of milk and return to a peaceful slumber.

I’ve faced a lot of scary things, but this has to be the scariest…because it’s the moment I fully lost me. Never again would I be the same, nor would my life, and little did I know, I’d lose my best-friend to it, all because I told the truth.

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4 Responses to Blogtember: Nightmarish Realities

  1. Nay says:

    That is the worst. I've been there and I'm sorry you had to go through it, too. But thanks for no longer being afraid and being brave enough to not keep it a secret. I was a out to say some choice words there for a sec about that bastard, but why waste a breath.

  2. Im sorry to you as well. i also agree, totally not worth the breath. Thanks so much for reading, and sharing with me. Your kind words are truly appreciated this morning. 🙂

  3. Vivienne Z says:

    Oh god, this is truly horrible! I hope that man met his deserved fate. It's unfathomable, what some people find entertaining and make light of, and violate. I'm glad you've recovered enough to talk about it now.

  4. Honestly, i don't know if talking about it is as much a recovered thing, as wanting other people to be more aware. thankfully, he did get what was deserved, unfortunately many other girls suffered because no one would listen to me. which leaves you with a greater feeling of disappointment in yourself. Thanks so much for stopping by, and leaving a little comment love.

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