Daydreaming through the years

I’ve spent a lot of my life caught up in one daydream or another. If asked, I’d say I’ve likely spent more time exploring the fantasies of my mind than living in reality. I’d prefer to say it has all been for the sake of pleasure but most often it’s been a way to cope with the chaos life throws my way.

As a child:

The daydreams of children can range far and wide which is the product of a full-blown imagination still being intact. ¬†However, the escaping minds of children aren’t always in the name of play. It’s true, there is a lot of dragon slaying, knight fighting, Prince Charming – princess rescuing and of course, the pretending of being a doctor, cook or policeman. ¬†We’ve all gone through those phases but sometimes daydreaming is a form of protection and self-preservation.

My view:

Parents scream
I fade away
Drifting off to a distant place

Where families match the movies
Where the kids know they’re loved
Where the world isn’t crashing down

They hit, I hide
Shut up in a closet, closed tight
Drifting off to a distant place

Where families hold each other tight
Where words don’t cut like knives
Where love thrives

They shame, they blame
I daydream, fantasize
And drift off to a distant place

Where I’m safe
Where I’m unbroken
Where I want to be alive

As a teen:

The adolescent years are full of daydreaming, though our imaginations seem to take a huge shift; one that often includes the thoughts of stolen kisses between classes. I’d give it a fifty-fifty split of fantasies about hooking up with classmates vs fantasies of escaping classmates. There aren’t many people who make it through school without facing a bit of bullying at one point or another and for some, it requires the same escape as the abused child.

My view:

Playground fun comes to a halt
No more swings or games of tag
Friendships no longer formed
Over sandcastles or hop scotch
Now you need the best name brand clothes
Or shoes and you better throw in the latest phone too

Find a clique or fall out of sight
Deemed a weirdo or a freak
When you’re nothing but unique
Destined to be tortured
Because you refuse to baa with sheep
Herds of mean teens looking to settle invisible scores

They call you names
“Fat, ugly, stupid!”
Talk behind your back
“I saw her house, her families poor.”
And spread rumors
“She sleeps with everybody. She’s such a whore.”

Your eyes go blurry and the world falls away
You transfer to a safer place
Where the people are nice
And you’re surrounded by your own kind
Understood and accepted
For being no more than who you are

As an adult:

I’ve only technically been considered an adult for ten years and to be honest, I haven’t felt like an adult that long. I really don’t believe I begun to feel like an adult until I had my first child. I felt half adult when I got married and full fledged when I had our daughter. In this time I feel like the adults daydreaming is most often the walk through of past memories and wishing you could go back. Then there’s the “grass is greener” daydreams and of course, the naughty little fantasies we play out about our spouses, co-workers, friends or even that hot ups driver. We do it to avoid the bad, to enjoy the good and occasionally, just to get away from the everyday noise.

My (mom) view:

The dog barks
The kids scream
Dishes fill the sink
Stop the noise
Do your chores
Clean these floors

Sigh in frustration
Throw your hands up
Concede to surrender

Lock the bathroom door
Listen to the call of “mom” echo
Fade away into a ten minute escape

Where the house is quite and clean
Where the kids aren’t assholes
And there’s no need to admit defeat

As the writer and creative mind:

Artist, from painters to dancers and everything in between, are a lot like the child, in the sense that we most often live in our imaginations. We think outside the box, step out of our confront zones and live through our art.

My view:

Paint me a rainbow
Over the mountains
Above the ocean
By the sea
It doesn’t matter to me
Just paint me a picture

With paint on canvas
Or words on paper
an interpretive dance will do
Hip hop
I have no preference
Just paint me a picture

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