Marriage, just as any relationship can be a roller coaster. Some days are straight a-ways; some days are upward climbs, and some are scary falls. In listening to family, friends, and reading tons of online complaints from women. I have found that the complaints run along the same lines.
It seems that men everywhere just aren’t getting what women want. Sure we love jewelry, dinners out, and little dates, but that’s more of a “special occasion” for us. We don’t want gifts every day, we’re not looking for you to go into debt, we don’t need you to buy us.
Over and over again I hear men saying how difficult women are. How they just can’t understand what women want. Well, I can’t tell you what all women want but I can tell you what a lot of married mothers want.
If you’re lost to what your women wants, trying to score bonus points, or just want to be a better partner. Check out these ten things you can do to improve your partners mood, add a little romance, and put some spark back in the bedroom.
1. Take the trash out: I know you’re confused. This is just a chore right? Well buddy you are wrong! If we don’t have to remind you, or ask you to take the trash out 100 times a day, we are just a little bit happier. You have saved us a little bit of hassle, and that’s a turn on. You took the time to do it, and we’ll take the time to repay you later.
2. Wash the dishes: No we don’t love it, the sparkle doesn’t make it worth it, and they are never ending. After doing the dishes 3 times that day, nothing is hotter to a mom and wife, then her hubby doing the dishes. This is twice as important if you have a dishwasher, I mean really it’s not that hard to load. Stop being pampered babies and do the dishes once in a while. If it hasn’t killed women yet, it won’t kill you.
3. Follow the “sweat pants” rule: We have a house, and children to attend to. We can’t always look glamorous for you, and even if we did find the time…there are plenty of other things we would rather be doing. So, tell us we are beautiful when we’re sporting the “house mom” look. We know you love it when we dress up, but make sure you’re enforcing how “hot” we are in our daily “hot mess” mom kind of way. We might act like we’re brushing you off with a “yeah, right” but were just being humble. We’ve taken note, we feel good inside, and you just earned points toward a bedtime rump.
4. Take the time to say something heartfelt every once in a while. Take us on a little tour down memory lane, remind us of things you love about us, tells us what pulled you in, or find a cheesy quote/song that makes you think of us. So what if you’re a manly man, we still want to hear something sweet. You don’t have to tell the guys at the gym about it, but we do want to hear it.
5. Give us a break every now and then. Make a day (other than Mother’s Day) where the family takes care of us, and shows appreciation for all that we do. There is nothing sexier then a man who takes the time to think about you, and appreciate you for all that you do.
6. One picked flower can say a whole lot more than a dozen roses.
7. Don’t beg, or ask for sex. This is anti-romantic, and unlikely to get you far in most cases. Give us a massage, pay attention to us for real (none of that uh-huh, ok crap), or flirt with us as if we were dating. Asking or begging just turns women into a piece of meat, and sex into a mechanical act. No one wants that!
8. Make it a daily habit to ask how our day was. This confirms that you both care, and were likely thinking of us throughout the day. Both things are reassuring, and thoughtful. Big points towards a yes to sex, instead of a “I have a headache” response later that night.
9. Don’t be lazy: just because it’s your day off from the “9 to 5” grind, our job is never done. Watching TV, playing video games, or surfing the web while watching us clean the house, cook, chase kids, and attempt to keep order, is both rude, and insulting! You can act like you don’t see us running around like a chicken with its head cut off…but you do, and we know you do. So get off your butt and help us out. How does this help you? We’re less worn out and tired when we go to bed. We’re also impressed with you for helping…this means we’re a whole likely to open the “kitchen” that night.
10. Stop complaining about blow jobs: Yes, we know you love them. Yes, we’re aware we gave you more of them early on in the relationship and marriage. However, we now run a home 24/7, that’s filled with children who turn the place into a circus. After dirty diapers, tons of spills, dishes, laundry, and the never ending list of house hell, the last thing we want to do is listen to you complain about us lacking in the blow job department. Just take the kids as an example, the more they complain the less likely they are to get what they want. You stop complaining about it, and we’re more likely to do it for you.
We married mamas are pretty easy to please. Give us some attention, give us a complaint, change a crappy diaper, and act like you’re at least trying. Putting in the effort is worth so much more then rings, and shiny things.
*Note* Don’t take this as a reason to stop buying us fancy things, just save it for holidays, and special occasions. It’s the day to day, where we really need you most.