In the past four years of having kids I’ve had my fair share of “oh my god” moments. Enough so, that I decided to compile a small list of things my kids have done, that I never expected to be dealing with.
1. When our oldest was a little over one, she really loved to pretend cook and have tea parties. At this time we lived in a rather small home and it was very easy to hear when she was awake. However, on this particular morning I must have been in a very deep sleep because I did not hear her get up. Normally, she would come right to my bed but on this particular morning, she never did. I suddenly awoke feeling like I had been asleep much too long. If you’re a mom, you can likely understand the eerie feeling.
Quickly rising from the bed, I heading to her room. This is where I soon found a lovely little mess. Starting at the kitchen, I find a trail of broken eggs that lead the way to her room, as if they were Hansel and Gretles’ bread crumbs. I enter the room to find her at the play kitchen with eggs and a bottle of ranch dressing. Apparently, she was making breakfast for mommy. It was terribly cute but it was also a huge mess. I spent most of the morning cleaning ranch and eggs up. This was one of our first and biggest “oh my god” moments, as parents. I couldn’t figure out how she managed to get in to the fridge, let alone how she managed to open the ranch bottle on her own.
2. Our middle child was almost two and very into taking off his clothes, at the time. Along with taking his clothes off, he also enjoyed removing his diaper. On this particular day, he decided that instead of taking his nap, he would remove these item and not only poop in the middle of the floor, but also use it to color his walls. Imagine my surprise when I find him covered in poop, with poop fingers, painting the floor and walls.
If poo-pa-looza isn’t bad enough, he wasn’t just a master of the clothing escape. He was a master of getting through child proof locks, of any kind. We tried every lock that we could find and by the age of one he had gotten through or broke, all of them! He’s gotten through toilet locks and filled the toilet with toys. He’s gotten through fridge locks and has been found in the kitchen throwing eggs on the floor, exploding them little premature, chicken bombs. I’d like to say he was just being sweet and making breakfast like his sister but no, he was just having a good time and the giant ‘shit eating’ grin, said it all. He was, in fact, ALL boy!
Though I’d have to say that my biggest ‘oh my god’ moment with him, was just a few weeks ago while I was leaving Publix. Normally, I place him in the car first but on this day I ended up putting the baby in first. I had pushed the buggy against the car door and began to put the baby in. I was using the door to keep the buggy from going anywhere but little did I know, he had another plan. While my back was turned he used the door to push himself off. This is when I hear a noise, sounds just like a rolling buggy. Of course, I turn around to see who was passing by and instead, I see my son rolling away from me. He’s happily, swinging himself back and forth in the buggy, to make it speed up. All the while, laughing like a crazy person as I chase after him, just hoping he doesn’t get run over. On this day, in this moment, I could have easily had a heart attack. Thankfully, we were there very early and the parking lot was empty. I can safely say that I’ll never change the routine or forget to put him in the car first, after that not-so-fun adventure.
In a moms’ life, there are many things our kids do, that amaze and surprise us. My kids seem to be the masters of the amazing, but I’m sure you have plenty of those stories too. I know for me, I find something every day that amazes me, about them. I often find something they’ve done and for the life of me, can’t figure out how they’ve done it. I can easily say that if they get an idea, they’ll try it. If they think they can do it, then they will. It only take a moment of your back being turned, at the dishes, in the potty, or doing laundry and they’re off getting into something. As a matter of fact, as I type this, I can hear the middle child getting into something. From the sound of it, he’s now found another way to climb on the counter tops, so off I go for now, to control the madness!