Part 5: Progessing Through Life, Jr’s Yearly Scan.

Catch up:
post 1: A wife’s Goodbye (An entry to my husband)
post 2:Mom’s Dead, Now What? (How to handle the kids)
post 3:Life Goes On (Falling into the routine)
ost 4:You’ve Come This Far, Now What?


Post 5: Progressing Through Life (Jrs Yearly Scan)

Hi Honey,
Things are settling down now and you’re starting to get the hang of this single parenting. I wouldn’t be surprised if you still feel a bit disoriented in this whole ordeal. Just as things start to settle again, here comes another obstacle.

It’s about time for Jr’s Cardiology appointment, time for the yearly scan. This is a hard enough task to face together…let alone, by yourself. I wish I could be there to make the wait go by faster, to joke and take your mind off things. There are so many milestones that I’m sorry I will miss, so many things I’m sorry I can’t be there for, but this has to be at the top.

At one point, there were two of us. Two people, who could make the decisions on whether or not to keep our son out of sports or if its the right time to do surgery. The list of “What should we do?” and “Is this the right choice?”, is never ending. You never know what the Cardiologist is going to say this time or how his heart will be.

I won’t be able to hold your hand through the tests or help you calm him for the EKGs. I wish I could offer some wise words of wisdom, but I just don’t have them, this time. Our last check went well, so I’m sure you don’t have too much to worry about this time around. I don’t feel that you will have any big changes to make or decisions to face on surgery.

I don’t believe you’ll have to worry about this for a long time, but then again, I’m no doctor. The best I can do is give you an idea of what I’d like, if surgery does come into play. I don’t believe it’ll be a “should we do it” or “shouldn’t we do it” case. I imagine it’ll simply be needed, and therefore you won’t have to be weighed down with making the right call. Instead, you’ll just have to face it for what it is.

If the day does come and our son requires surgery, then these are the things I’d like you to do. (They’re the things I’d be sure to do, for whatever “motherly” reason I may have.)

1. Take him to spend time with his grandparents, at least, a day a piece. Lots of time for hug, kisses and special grandparent spoiling.

2. Take him to ride a horse. Riding Horses is one of the most freeing experiences I’ve ever had. Horses are such beautiful animals, they are so soulful and all knowing. (I know I’m weird, just do it!)

3. Take him on a glass bottom boat ride. He loves fish, this will probably be his most loved event, you may need a day just for this activity.

4. Take him for a ride through the mud. Give him a good forest ride and show him how to sling a little mud.

5. Let him drive in your lap. Something every child should get to experience. There is this magically, unspoken, freedom, growth and love that comes from this moment. Alan Jackson song – Drive, wasn’t crap….it’s a moment that will last in your hearts, forever.

6. Give him a big BBQ style party with all the family. Celebrate him, overwhelm him with love.

7. Let him have ice cream for breakfast, just once. If every there were a time for an ice cream breakfast, now would be it.

8. Read all his favorite books until your throat burns with the need for silence. Hand, Hand, Finger, Thumb. Hop on Pop and all those other tongue twisting rhymes that Dr. Seuss laid down. (Yeah….I just said that.)

9. Hold him all night long. Spend a night watching him sleep and take in all the precious smiles and….occasional fart. Haha, What can I say? He’s just like dad in every way. (Hahaha, after death burn. Yeah, I still got it!)

10. Let him fly a kite. I personally feel that the best place to do this is at the beach. One, because its often windy there. (Good reason right? I know) Two, what’s more fun then watching your beautiful kite soar in to the pale blue sky, as the waves crash into the shore, washing cool water and sand through your toes? Nothing, that’s what!

11. Help him build a huge sand castle, just to tear it down. Every kids wants to have their very own “Godzilla” moment and a sand castle seems like the best way to accomplish such a dream.

12. Take him to the movies and let him stuff himself with popcorn. When I was a kid, going to the movies was a big deal. It was the highlight of the weekend and we only went to the “dollar movies”, haha. Seeing an epic movie on the big screen is like stepping into a new world, if only for a tiny bit.

13. Don’t worry about bedtime for a while. Time doesn’t matter right now, living in the moment is what it is all about. The only thing you need to take time for is treasuring every minute with your ” name sake” and the other two, of course!

14. Take a million pictures. Every smile you can catch, every new moment and silly face. No matter what happens, it WILL be worth it.

15. Kiss and hug him until he begs you to stop. You should show our children affection everyday, but be sure to get in all you can. Better safe then sorry, I always say. 🙂

16. Take him to a car museum. Once again, he’s just like daddy. If it has wheels and motor, he’s interested in it. Give him a chance to bask in the world of automobiles and watch him go crazy over all the fun new things to see.

17. Take him to a petting zoo. It’s true, he’s a boy! He loves animals, bugs and well, anything that would creep mommy out. This past year, he had a blast in tiny petting zoo, at the fair. Take him somewhere he can really interact and see a wide range of animals.

18. Take him fishing. Though that Trace Atkins song – she thinks we’re fishing, is about a little girl. The story behind it, fit either way. The point is that fishing is is the perfect bonding sport. It gives you lots of time to enjoy each other and talk, even if its about frogs and boogers. Not to mention, that exciting moment when he brings in his first fish.

19. Let him camp for a night. Do s’mores, tell silly stories and try to count the stars. Show him the beauty in nature and allow him to experience life outside the “technology” generation.

20. Collect every smile and laugh to hold onto, just in case he comes to be with mom in the afterlife. I promise I’ll take care of him if his poor little body ever gives out. I know that would kill you, deep, deep inside. However, if you have plenty to hold onto, maybe the sting wont be as bad. It’ll hurt like hell, but maybe a tiny piece will remain intact.

These are things I’d want him to experience, things he loves and moments to treasure. I hope with all my “mommy powers” that you guys will never have to face this. In life we often think we will never have to face such trying times but in reality, this events, just happen. That’s what make them so raw, so painful and insanely life changing.

Love you,
The Wifey.

Continue with Post 6: Guide to fully moving on.

Please follow and like us:
This entry was posted in Death of a Mother (series) and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Part 5: Progessing Through Life, Jr’s Yearly Scan.

  1. Thanks for linking up with the Friday Flash Blog. I hope you checked out the highlighted posts as well as everyone’s terrific entries. Have a fabulous weekend!


  2. Thanks for stopping by Jennifer.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *