Part 6 – Guide to Fully Moving on.
I am becoming entangled in my own web of thoughts. There are so many things to cover and it is unclear to me as to what should come next. It is hard to anticipate what the children and you will be going through as you learn to be a family without me. We have covered my death, getting into the routine, and the dreaded thoughts of our sons heart defect. Where does one go from there?
Maybe it is time we talk about you? Yes, that is probably best. I know I have mentioned taking time for yourself and that is important. However, we have not covered moving on in the fullest form, yet.
At some point, not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, you will find another woman who steals your breath. I know you are shaking your head no, and that you could not possibly imagine such a thing. Nonetheless, it will eventually happen. I suppose you may feel bad about it, as if you are doing wrong. I will appreciate the gesture, but you are not doing anything wrong. I want you to be happy, even if it is with another woman. If I cannot be there then I can only hope a wonderful women will come along and take my place.
It is understandable if you feel that she is not as good as I am. No one will ever be that good, we both know my awesomeness is beyond most, haha. As long as you can be happy with her, then I am okay with it. Of course, there are some things I would like for you to consider. Sort of like guidelines for your future wife endeavors.
1. Do NOT find someone who looks like me. It is extremely insulting to both her and I. It will also make you look slightly crazy. You should avoid trying to give her my clothes, or buying her things I would wear. That is super freaking creepy! We should probably include saying things like, “My wife looked good in that.” “You look just like my wife in those jeans.” And of course “Your body fits my wife’s bed indention perfectly!”… All bad ways to approach your future spouse.
2. I beg you not to find someone slower then I am. Just because she is hot does not mean she is worth it. If she sounds like a two year old when she talks, you will end up divorced, once the “new” wears off of Barbie. Basically, if she can not count by 2s, and tie her shoes, she is not worth going after. Though I admit, I do hope your sights would be set higher then that.
3. Do not bring women in & out of our kid’s lives. If we had divorced instead of me dying, I would want us to only introduce our children to people we were serious about. If you would not marry her, she probably has no place around the kids.
4. Look for someone who will love the children as much I did. I know that no one will ever be able to replace me, but I think we can at least get it damn close. If you find a woman who would throw herself into oncoming traffic to save them, then you have yourself a winner. (Do not make her prove that…none of those “Hey guys, watch this!” Moments.)
5. Love her better then you loved me. Love her like everyday is her last….it just might be, so make every one of them count when you find your new love.
6. When you are searching for a new partner, ask yourself these kind of questions. “Is this the type of woman I would want my daughter to be?” “Would this woman be a positive influence?” “Does she carry herself the way I would want my daughter to carry herself?” It is very important that you remember this. The woman you choose to put into our kids lives, will effect them. Some of the biggest effects this woman will have, will be on our daughter. Find her a role model, not a poster child for failure.
7. Me being dead, you being a single dad and being too busy, are not excuses to stay out of the dating scene. You are quick to push things off if you can make a decent enough excuse. Well, no excuse here buddy. Deal with my death and move on because you should get all you can out of life.
8. Be one million percent sure that which ever woman you end up with, would never sleep with one of our sons. There are some messed up people in the world and this would just be horrifying. I do not know why, I just feel like this is something you should look out for. Other then me, your taste in women is kind of crappy, just saying.
9. Find a women who can cook!! If you do not ensure that she can cook, you WILL be sorry later on! First off, you cannot cook. Secondly, your food bill will be insane, due to the fact that you will have to spend all of your time out. Make sure she can cook! It will just end up being another divorce otherwise.
10. Do not use my death to pick up women, it is just plain gross, and disrespectful. I do not imagine that you will do this, but just in case….do NOT!! Not even if you are at rock bottom and desperate….do NOT dare do it mister!
I love you Hun, things will be alright. You will move on and you will find another woman to love you, just as much as I have.
Continue with Post 7: We All Fall In Love