Catch up –
Post 1: A Wife’s Goodbye
Post 2: Moms Dead, Now What?
Post 3: Life Goes On. (Falling into the Routine.)
Post 4: You’ve Come This Far, Now What?
Post 5: Progressing Through Life. (Jrs yearly scan.)
Part 6: Guide to Fully Moving on.
Post 7: We All Fall In Love
I envision the family and yourself, are now well into the swing of things. At this point, I figure you are mastering this single parenting. You have smoothed out the routine, probably have all the kids in school by now, and who knows…maybe even a new woman.
My letters will be needed less and less as time progresses on. You will start to find that the feeling of needing me will decrease and the daddy in you will instinctively take over. Fortunately for me, there are still a few things you will likely need a hand in. This will keep me a part of your lives and a voice in your guidance for just a little while longer.
I feel the next best subject to cover is childhood infatuation. If our children are anything like me, or how I imagine most kids are: then you will find that childhood infatuation, or “love” will start as young as elementary school.
Our children will have a “crush” on friends, teachers, and possibly even family members. This is due to their views on love: where we view love in more of a sexual way, they view love in more of a family way. That means you should not feel the need to get bent out of shape over these feelings.
You will of course always want to keep an open line of communication, and listen to these feelings. Use your best efforts not to cut them off, or down play their feelings. The last thing you want to do is to make them feel as if they anger you, or that their feelings are not valid.
Though they will be young, simple conversation, and explanation of what love is….in the form of family and friendship will do. You should leave the romantic stuff until later. As for now, romantic relationships are for grown-ups and married people. Leave that bridge to cross on another day, or when questions of the subject are forced upon you.
I am aware of the fact that our daughter saying “Daddy, I am in love with *insert boy*” is heart-attack worthy . As a father your mind jumps start to your little girl dating and the dreaded thought of a boy thinking of her… in the ways you once thought of girls.
You may as well get use to these things now. The positive is that at this age, her love is but friendship and not all that much to worry about. It is not likely that they will run away and become married. The negative is that one day, this will be a worry. Her “Daddy I love him”s, will be real…in the moment. Sometimes, she will feel like she wants to run off and marry that boy. Thankfully, you have some time before you have to worry about all of that. Just keep breathing, listening and guiding her in the right direction.
Now, on to the boys. I know that you will want to overly encourage every little crush they have. I know you will want them to be little lady killers. Every time you feel this thought creeping in, smash it with this thought “Ever girl our boys hit on, is just as many boys that hit on our daughter.” This alone should be enough to help you guide our boys into proper dating practices and teach them to respect girls. You should teach our boys to treat girls the way you would want our daughter to be treated. This is not just for you, this is also a courtesy to other fathers of daughters.
I hope this helps you understand, and deal with the childhood infatuations. Just keep your head up and listen to your daddy senses. They are a lot like spidey-senses, but less spidery and your enemies attack with Cheerios instead of fire balls, haha.
Continue with Post 8: Period Talk