Random blah blah Wednesday, blah blah….yeah, can you tell I’m not here today? I’m really on a beach with a nice strong rum filled drink. My phone sits beside me, letting soulful blues drift from the speaker. My minds turned off to the world, and for once I have control of the 5 o’clock, traffic packed freeway, that is my mind. No longer do thoughts flash through my head like lighting bolts, or what I imagine cheetahs on speed would be like.
*Sigh* Alright, I’m not on a beach, and my minds only increased to double speed this week. It’s a nice dream though. Since we’re really here in reality, I guess I’ll get on with this weeks low down.
1. This one isn’t so random, really, it’s on everyone’s minds. What is our world coming to? What makes someone feel the need to harm others. So many people’s lives were changed, and some were lost. Was it worth it? Do you feel good about yourself? Do you feel powerful? I bet you do.
In reality, your a coward, a waste of space, and in need of extreme help. Are you so unhappy that you’d harm those who are out happily living their lives. What if these people were your family, would you still feel feel good about it?
Things like this make no sense. All of us have hurt, sad stories, problems and worries, but we don’t go around harming others for it. How dare you be so selfish. Your problems are no bigger then anyone else’s, you had no right to do this. You’ve ruined lives, you’ve scared lives, and you’re nothing but shameful.
2. I’ve always liked blues but since my raking adventure, I’ve been playing it non-stop. I
find that most the songs have a lot more to say then your average junk. Of course, I
prefer older music in general. Most of it is a lot less repetitive, I really hate that. Do we
really need to say the same line 15 different time in the “song”? I think not!
3. My baby is no longer a baby. I’m feeling a bit lost, maybe a little depressed and slightly emotional. I’m fighting the tears hard but really, it’s a major suck fest. I have so many emotions going on, I’m sure to explode at any second.
4. I had a little slip this week. Let me explain. When I was a kid, my family often
responded to me with thing like “you’re a pain in my ass” and “you’re being a piss ant”. I try
to avoid saying, or doing things that were done to me as child – but I admit, they slip from
time to time. The other day, my 2yr old was being rather difficult, and finally the words
“You’re being a pain in the ass” flew from mouth like a bad case of diarrhea after a long
night of drinking, and burritos. My sons response, ” No mommy, you’re being a pain in
the ass.” He walks away with a win, burned again by my 2yr old. I love that kid.
5. I have a new favorite saying. Every time something doesn’t go right, I now strongly feel the need to say “F a duck in the butt.” Of course I don’t get to say fuck but if I don’t restrain myself a bit, every other word would be cussing of some sort. I really love “dirty” words. Some say that those who cuss, don’t have a big enough vocabulary to speak properly….or some crap like that. I often forget to listen when people say these things…because fuck people!
I think people put way too much meaning into words, we give them far too much power over us…..they are just words, that’s it. I see no reason for Fuck to be any worse of a word than fork. Sure they mean two different things but neither of them can harm you…. Word wise, that is – because if someone stabs you with a fork, that would hurt! Word wise, you’re good. Words can only hurt, or affect us, if we let them. Oh, and my new favorite word is Asshat, everything is Asshat right now….I really am as bad as a child. Hehe 🙂
6. I made a couple outfits for my cousins soon to be baby. The doctors thought it was a girl, so we’ve thought it was girl for a while now. I had a feeling from the moment I heard, that it was a boy, but I ignored it and now I’m kicking myself in the butt. No little girls to wear my cute little outfits now. On the plus side, I get to make really adorable boy stuff now.
7. Hubby and I forgot about his conference with our daughters school. They reminded us Monday, we set the reminders in ours phones the day we made the appointment and still, we some how missed it. I about died when the lady called, and the words conference came out. It was a hand to forehead moment, it took everything I had not to let the words “Oh, Shit” slip. I actually had to pause a moment to hold the words back, and stop the flood of cursing that was sure to follow, as I mentally kicked myself in the ass.
Anyhow, the lady informed me that she would like both of us to be there now. Hubby and I often switch off on parenting roles…..like tag team parenting. Of course I agreed to be there, after all, she is my daughter. The lady on the phone made sure to ask several times, if I could make it. Her tone gives me the thought, that she feels I’m not an active parent. I really don’t need to be there, I already know the kind of things you will say, and my husband can easily fill me in on it.
Don’t you realize that in order for both of us to be there, we have to bring our two younger children. (2 yrs & 1yr) Both are highly active! Do you really think they are going to want to sit down for a conference? Do you really think that I’ll be able to give you 100% of my attention? We are better off with only one of us going. You’re going to be talking away, and I’m going to be keeping my 1yr old from wiggling out of my lap, and getting into all the pretty things. I’ll have to keep my 2yr old quiet, and hope he doesn’t decide to break something in your office….because he’s a boy, and shiny objects are fun to break. To be honest lady, you’re wasting my time. It’s great that you love to have both parents there, but you just messed up my whole schedule. Your tiny, predictable little meeting, will ruin/ throw off my day….Thanks A lot.
8. I was writing part of this post in the shower this morning. My husbands voice rang out from what felt like a distant place. (He was in the shower, you know save water for the fish….and what not.) He was asking me what in the world I was doing. This is when I realized that as I writing in my head, I was also using hand gestures as I discussed it with myself. The bad thing is……I do this all the time, without noticing it until people are looking at me like I’m a whack-a-do.
I think we will leave it at that this week, I have to go get my shine on. 🙂
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