I’m the horrible, terrible, no-good, very-bad mom – It’s true! I’m a bad-bad mommy, and I’m not alone. We’re all bad moms….but we’re also all good moms. None of us get it right all of the time, and that’s okay. Being a mom isn’t black or white. there is no one answer. There are heaps of books on the subject, but not one could tell you exactly how to do it. No one can give you a play by play, or hand you a script – it’s all trial and error.
We all have moments of weakness, failure, and bad days….after all, were only human. Sure we gained super powers when we became moms but even batman, Spider-Man and yes, Wonder Woman -sometimes lose a citizen, destroy buildings, or get defeated, but they get back up and win in the end. We’re doing the same thing just with kids.
So if you’re not feeling your best in the mom department, just take comfort in these “not so great” mom moments.
1. I’ve hit every one of my children’s heads on the wall, door frame, or door – at some point in their infant life. (Normally happens in the 3am hour…damn you lack of sleep.) In my defense, none of the bumps were hard enough to wake, or leave any marks on them. That still counts as a win, right?
2. I’ve dropped two of my kids as infants. (Thankfully over the crib mattress.) Every once in a while my back locks up, and I lose a bit of use in my arms – normally I know when it will happen, these times I did not.
3. *This one’s hard * I was getting ready to head out to the local Lake/walking park? (Not sure what to call it, it’s a lake surrounded by a sidewalk, and you just go round and round. But they have ducks..so it cool. Anyhow..) My cousin, and her two toddlers are with us, we’ve just made up some lunches to take along, and were getting ready to load the kids up. (I normally bring my carseat in, but since we had three seats in the truck, and mine was in the middle…I didn’t this time.) Everything was going as planned, just like any other park day. We load the kids in my truck and off we go, about 1/2 a mile from the park a car pulls out in front of me, if I had not been paying very close attention…we’d have wrecked. Thankfully this doesn’t happen and we arrive safely.
My cousin and I are talking about the idiot driver as we get ready to remove the kids from the truck. I’m saying that I’m just glad nothing happened, and how much it would have sucked. (I didn’t know the half of it.) After removing my cousin’s kids, and getting them in the strollers – it was time to get my little piggy out. This is when my world flips upside down! I easily lifted her from the seat and realized that in my haste, I had forgotten to buckle her in. As I was going to buckle her in, my cousins babies were at the edge of the lake…the mommy in me screamed snatch them up before a gator does, or one falls in.
Trying to insure their safety, I left my daughter in harm’s way. Had we have wrecked that day, my daughter would likely be dead. It’s my worst mommy moment, she’s still alive, and it will defiantly never happen again, so I’m over it. Of course, had I been able to take my carseat in that day, it never would have happened in the first place. If I wasn’t trying to keep two other kids out of harm’s way, then I would have finished buckling her in….though, if a frog had wings – it wouldn’t bump its butt on the ground when it hopped. There’s nothing I can do about it, I can’t change it, but I can keep it from happening. Now I check so many times, it’s like having OCD.
3. I yell, it’s true. I’m like a teapot, the water is my bullshit level, and their nonsense is the heat….at some point I’m going to boil. It happens, maybe you don’t yell, and that’s good for you, but I do. If I talk to you multiple times, and you act like you don’t/can’t hear me…then you’re going to hear me. Work in progress, such is life.
4. I solved my daughters biting problem by biting here back. I tried everything under the sun, my mother said bite her because that was the only thing that made me stop at her age. I felt like a terrible mom even considering it, but when your child draws blood one good time, and you’re at the end of the rope….you’re far more willing to try anything (within reason). I bit her, not enough to leave marks, or harm her…just enough to shock her. After that, she never bit anyone again. After a while I figured out that she’s the kind of person who needs to see it, to get it. She needed to know what it felt like to understand why she shouldn’t do it.
5. I bumped my 2yr olds head on the ceiling fan while it was on. Sometimes I forget how tall I am and instead of just the ceiling this time…it was the fan. Thankfully the fan was on slow and he laughed about it.
6. My 2yr old fell out of the shopping cart….on a concrete floor. My son usually sits, and I’m always paying attention to him while carrying on little conversations. However, my husband was asking me a million questions about Christmas lights, and my mind was jumbled with the Christmas to do’s. He saw something he wanted, and like the brave little shit he is, he went for it before I could even put two and two together. He hit the floor like a sack of bricks, stood up, rubbed his head, and was good to go. (*sigh* No mom of the year award over here.)
Well, I think that’s enough for now, I’m starting to sound horrible. The truth is, we can’t be with them, have an eye on them, or keep up with them, every second. All we can do is our best to keep them safe, healthy, and hopefully well rounded. Everyone knows that sometimes things just happen, from time to time we come across obstacles that we have no control over. No matter the obstacle we have to keep moving forward, we cannot sit in the past, or let guilt riddle us with sadness. Yes, I’ve had some pretty bad mommy moments, but I’m doing my best, and that’s really all we can do. Mommies – mom on, dads – dad on, and parents – parent on.