Theme Song Thursday

  Theme song Thursday

I was washed away under a sea of madness, drowning in a pool of insanity. I’d say it was self driven derangement but I refuse to pled guilty to all charges, those around me had a lot to do with it, too. The brilliant person who first stated that shit happens, couldn’t have more right. From deaths, heart break and realizations of your reality, to denials, acceptances and new experiences, shits happening everywhere.
I know, it all sounds dark but I promise it’s not. Yes, we’ve experienced death in the past year and in more ways than one. In all cases, I was left in a hamster wheel of endless thoughts and re-evaluations. If you’re following, then you’ve likely been in such a place and understand the wear and tear on ones sole when stuck in a cycle such as that. Perhaps it’s the creative soles way, always battling with meaning and trying to redefine the world around them. From painters to writers and everything in-between, we all judge ourselves so harshly. Then we allow others possible judgments to further hinder our creative natures. Long story short, I’ve been stuck in rut of unimaginable writers block for close to a year.
I suppose it was my own self punishment, I wrote to no end but I deleted just as often. No matter how good I thought it was, my self judgment and the thought of others had become to high to control. My thoughts were no longer my own, I had allowed myself to become flooded by the outside world, I forgot to be me.
Every person in my life was telling me what I needed to be doing, how I should be doing it and what they thought my “problem” was. Admittedly, I let them. I shrug it off, nod my head and stew about it later. I couldn’t protest, most these judgments, these un-welcomed suggestions were coming from family. Though I’m not one to take much crap from the outside world, I will take a lot from my family. I was trained to be this way, to take it, to deal, to basically obey the wishes of the older family members. Mostly it’s been fairly easy, however, after having kids and you know….being an adult, it’s become much harder to nod my head and smile.
From unwanted, outdated, parenting advice to what I should be wearing, where I should be going and the list really is quite endless. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was completely unable of caring for myself, let alone a family. If there is one thing you can say for my relatives, it’s that they all have the same motto, “it’s my way or the highway.”
Well, I say fuck that. I’ll smile, I’ll nod but my life is my own. I’ve always managed and I’ve always made it, one way or another. Maybe I don’t do it like them but that’s ok, because I’m ME. So yes, I’ve been missing for almost a year now and yes, the blog has suffered for it, BUT… I’m back bitches! I have a lot going on, most people are balancing plates and I’m balancing a crowded restaurants entire order but I’m  learning to manage and before long I’ll be serving up “orders” like a boss again. haha.
I figured what better way to start anew then with a new weekly theme post. So every Week be on the look out for theme song Thursday. This is where I will be featuring my song of the week. The song stuck on repeat, the one pulling me through the madness of my days and keeping my insanity in check. Of course, I’ll also be writing a post (similar) to this one, it’ll shine a little light on why that song is my anthem for the week.
This week, I bring you a song by the dirty heads, called spread too thin. From the title alone, this song does a fine job off summing up my past year. Everyone wants/expects something from me but I just need some time. I’ve certainly got a lot to say to them all but well, I’m spread way too thin. I am that monster about to rage, that’s why spread to thin by dirty heads is this weeks anthem and has my playlist stuck on repeat.
You can find the video here
The lyrics Here
And download Here
Add it to your playlist, hit repeat a few times and enjoy. If you’re feeling a little spread thin, then this just what you need.
{Side note:Don’t forget that I’m also running a new site call crochetnomics unique boutique (<–click it, you know you want to.) right now, we’re still building but there are items to see and soon we will be venturing into an etsy shop. Also, you can find crochetnomics on facebook, pinterest, Instagram and tweeter. Come on through and say hello, promise I won’t bite…too hard, haha.)
Please follow and like us:
This entry was posted in Theme/Random Posts and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *