Top 20: Thoughts

Top 20 Things I think about while waiting in line.

1. Why is it when I come into the store no one is in line, but when I’m ready to leave, its like someone threw up the green flag at a NASCAR race.
2. I wish these people would realize how awesome I am, and part ways like the Red Sea.
3. Did that dude just fart?
4. Why is this cashier so slow? How hard it is to scan and bag, my five year old could do it. 
5. You’re ten minute rant about how you should have gone on break ten minutes ago, is so worth the eight of us left standing here waiting for you to actually do your job.
6. Dear lord, please let this cashier hurry up. The woman in front of me has no idea that she’s 100 lbs over her clothes weight limit.
7. Who needs 20 cases of coke and buggy full of tampons? What kind of disaster is he going home to?
8. Is that a man or woman? 
9. Does this guy really think no one can see him? I mean, what’s so great in your pants that you need to spend five minutes standing in front of me with your hand up your butt.
10. I feel sorry for the cashier and the germs people place in her hands. From the butt digger in front of me to the nose picker in front of him. 
11. If I was a cashier I’d have to bathe in Purell.
12. Who spends $1000 at Walmart? Isn’t this place suppose to be the cheapest?
13. Great, I picked the cashier who loves to put your milk on top of your eggs, and your cleaning products in with your produce.
14. Cashier ” How old is your kid? How many do you have? Do you work? Don’t you just love spring?”  Am I on a game show? I’m pretty sure I came here for a loaf bread, not a game of twenty questions.
15. Was there a trailer trash hoe-down today? I’m pretty sure that woman only has two teeth, and just got off from a local underground strip club. The kid is in a diaper and boots, he’s drinking coke from a bottle. He’s got be about at least 5. I thought I walked into Wal-Mart, but this has to be some sort of black hole or alternate world.
16. That chicks really hot, I wonder if she’s into girls.
17. That guy is really hot, I should have met him before my husband.
18. Why did I have to get behind the people speaking Spanish? They keep glancing at me, I wonder if they’re talking about me. I wish I would have taken that Spanish class now.
19. Kim Kardashian has a big butt! Wow, like everyone doesn’t know that. Can’t they put a decent magazine up here.
20. If people suddenly started turning into zombies, that guys going down first, and she’s defiantly second. I’ll make it out like the ninja I am, by grabbing a pair of “check-out special” scissors, and slay some fat zombies for the other zombies to eat. This will keep them busy, and i’ll save lot of people. I’ll then become the Sheriff Rick of my own “Living” Walking Dead.
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8 Responses to Top 20: Thoughts

  1. I always buy 2 month supply of pads since I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Disorder. The other stuff is hilarious. One thing you could add in Walmart is "Why is there always 1-2 checkout lanes open whenever you go there?"

  2. That so true! They have so many check-outs but never have more then a couple open. Like they don't know when they get busy. 30 people waiting between 2 lines with 5 employees just standing around is totally acceptable. Haha it's just terrible. Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

  3. LOL! #16 had me cracking up!

    Thank you for linking up with the Humor Me! Blog Hop!!!

  4. 🙂 glad you got a laugh, thanks so much for coming by and leavening some love!

  5. This made me LOL because I can relate. What a great idea for a blog post! I've been guilty of weird thoughts while at the checkout. Like the time I bought condoms and dog food. I was sure the cashier was putting me on some special list.

    This was a great choice for sharing with us peeps at the Humor Me Blog Hop! THANK YOU!

  6. Hahaha, try buying condoms, banks, grape jelly and peanut butter. You never realize how bad it looks until the cashier give you THAT look. 🙂 thanks so much for coming by and returning the laugh.

  7. Pattie says:

    Hahaha You are hilarious! Me on the other hand, I am all huff huff , bitching under my breath, sighing…HAHAHA I loathe lines when the cashier is slow.

  8. 🙂 glad you enjoyed it! I have plenty of those moments myself but most times I find something to entertain myself and though I don't always post it, I'm always writing something in my head. Thanks so much for stopping by and showing some love!

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